feelings

when i first met you.
you were so cute, funny, adorable, and many more beautiful traits.
but you've change.
i feel like the person i know isnt there anymore.
you might felt that i was trying to live your life.
but i wasnt.
never did.
if i did i wouldve confront you of how i felt for you.
i hide so much feelings, questions, and care i have for you inside me.
you just never realize how much stuff i know about you.
you just never realize hurtful things i heard about you.
you just never realize how much pain you have given me.
you just never realize i was trying to get to know you from the start.
i dont know why i like you so much.
i dont know why i still care about you.
but all i know is its time for me to let you go.
because in your heart i was never there.
you just never realize you were very special to me.
you just never put the heart to see me in your life.
i feel like i'm blaming everything on you.
but is it my problem?
is it my fault youre running away from me?
i really wonder.
i really wonder what i did wrong?
what made you became the person you became?
am i that bad?
am i a bad person?
am i just not good enough?
you made me feel so sad.
cause i dont know what i did wrong.
i dont know why things could end up like this.
i really wonder what i can do to fix it.
but i realize today it cant.
from the mean words you said to me today.
it made me realize i'm just in the same place as her.


you were one special guy to me.
i never expect you to someone you aint.
i never expect to have some kind of special friendship with you.
i was just kidding with you.
if i did want to have some kind of friendship.
i would want our own. our own special friendship.
i feel like we have a lot of misunderstanding.
but you never gave me the chance to clear anything up.
i really wonder why did i like you so much.
i wonder why every words you say to me could make me so happy and sad.
i wonder what i could do to have that again.
i never put you as a life time partner.
i just wanted to have you in a special way for just a moment.
when i'm around you i feel like a different person.
i realize that.
i try to be myself but i couldnt.
if i could stop loving you i would.
if i could stop caring stop wondering i would.
i dont know why i'm so stupid to still care.
what is there to care about? nothin.
i feel like you never understand how i felt.
never did never will.
i like you but you didnt understand.
i never wanted anything from you.
but just be a friend.
friend that i could flirt with.
='[

its time to let go.
its time for me to stop caring, stop wanting, stop trying, stop liking you.
you will never know how much hurt me.
you will never know how much i care about you.
you will never know how i truely feels.
because i try to hide everything from you.
i try to walk away. but yet you keep coming at me.
i try to forget but u keep reminding me.
and now its time to let go.
its time to let go of the good memories.
its time to move on because i dont wanna like you anymore.
i dont want to believe youre one of a kind.
i dont want to believe youre perfect in my eyes.
i really dont want to see you in that way anymore.
its really time to let go.
goodbye.

i havent been on blog for so long. hella shit been happening. i dont even where and how to start. when mike n dj came down. hella shit happen. when i mean hella i mean hella. mike n dj got mad at me. i feel like i'm doing sumthing right but to them i'm doing sumthing wrong. =\ iono hella stupid.
whatever. i dont wanna release my problem here. i'm so lazy to type now. goodbye