my feelings.

NO HE AINT THE GUY BUT ISNT HE SO CUTE! LOL





lately i've been really emo. iono why i'm like this but i just dont kno how to control it. i really dont kno how. when i start to have a thing for someone i feel like i shouldnt be liking them and its wrong to like them and i pull myself away from them. i would act hella shady to them but at a same time i try not too cause i'm being really selfish fucking up a frennship just because of some little feelings. right? but yeah i really dont know whats wrong with me. =\ feel so stupid sometimes. i actually dont even know why i feel this way. i dont even know what kind of feeling this ish. i just kno that that guy became someone special to me. just telling u guys its not deep shit or anything. really its not. but he would be someone i care about and i hope to stay the way we are right now cause its so fun and i'm happy. =] i do miss him tho. but i wouldnt go to him like that to the point he knos i miss him. even tho i say i miss him i kno i would say it as a joke but really its not. lol i guess this is how i let them think i dont feel that way for them. so it wont be all weird and shit. lol. i think hes such a sweet heart but a player. O.o haha. but iono why i dig them even more. weird huh? getting myself into sum bullshit relationship problems. lol. anyways in my heart right now i feel super confuse. i guess u could say he aint the only guy i'm kinda interested i guess. but the other guys has nothin to compare to him. other guy are people i talk to a lot but at a same time i get upset when i hear them telling me who they like but at a same time i dont give a shit. i guess i;m just an attention whore. i jsut want their attention. LOL but hay who knos. i dont even know how i even feel right now. =\ i'm saying so much but thats how i feel u kno but at a same time i kinda feel like thats not how i feel n i get so confuse. do i like anyone? i feel like i do but is it just that i'm so happy i'm just taking it the wrong way? i really dont know. i'm so clueless right now. seriously. i really dont kno. *sigh* i've been talking to people like amy and nora. nora said focus in school. i am. i'm trying to do good in class right now but at a same time my heart would wonder around u kno. n amy knos what i'm talking about like how i feel i guess but yeah i dont even kno. i really really really dont kno whats going on. so clueless and confuse. seriously. but i will try to get my feelings straight soon i hope.

alrite today what did i do? i woke up around 1 ish. went on tokbox to see whos on. saw amy and eric. talk a little they left. watch some chinese drama. n later on. i went back on tokbox but they didnt even tell me they were on tobox. got kinda upset. but whatever. its all good. than back to my series n took a shower n tokbox until i leave for family dinner. after family dinner i went back home and tokbox some more. text amy what they gonna do n she just told me andrew gonna come pick me up without ASKING ME IF I WANNA GO OR NOT. but yeah i didnt kno if i should go or not when its around 11 sumthing already. n they dont even know when andrew was going to pick me up. so until andrew called me i was deciding if i should go. cause i'm mad broke. from dinner from yesterday. anyways yeah. later on andrew called me if i wanna go bowling. n its about money obviously i'm gonna say no. so i didnt go. n stayed home n tokbox. lol. but i was so fucken bored at home. i wish i went out that didnt have to do with money. moneyless is good. lol anyways its okay tho. at least i didnt spend any money. =D but yeah thats pretty much it. i'm still in tokbox. lol like always. =D but yeah today is DJ's birthday.

TO DJ.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY U FUCKEN BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKER.
you kno i love you very much. you've been a really good frenn. ever since i met u. thank you very much. i get to share my deepest secret and also not. lol n i love you so much for that. thank you thank you. ur another year older and u get to buy alcho now. i'm so happy. when u come down here were gonna get FUCKED UP! i swear. lol were gonna get FUCKED UP!. lol i cant wait. i hope u will soon. =D anyways like i said earlier HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND I LOVE YOU.