BROKEN

i'm surprised this is where i really put my feelings to. where i write what have been bugging me. anyways i heard sumthing i didnt really want to believe but i kno its true. in my heart i'm really broken. iono how to accept it and i really dont kno what i could make me feel better. =[ iono when i could stop feeling this way. i just want to kno the truth from that person but at a same time iono how i would take it. even if i hear it from that person. i might even be more heart broken cause they could always lie to me. =\ i really dont kno what i could do anyways. please save me god. i really dont know how i really feel. i really dont kno what to do. although the problem aint my problem but in my heart i feel like it is. just knowing someone i care so much about is like that. maybe there is a story behind. maybe im just taking it too much. even tho i was crying so much and start joking around. its because i dont want them to worry anymore. i dont wanna keep crying and make them feel bad for telling me but u kno what. imma be stronger. i will try to be stronger. with this problem it made me realize how cruel i am. how fucked up i am. how dirty i am. i really regret what i have done. but what can i do. nothin. cause its gone now. at this moment i just need to accept what i have done wrong and just dont do it again. and if i am doing it again. i am ready. i just wish that one day i could really forgive myself but yeah right. i wont ever ever forgive myself but i wish i could. *sigh* right now i just hope and wish that person could let me care about them. let me in and let me be someone they could run too. *sigh* i just wish. really wish. you kno guys. my previous blog about the guy i like but i aint sure i like him. i feel like i aint sure if i do or not but i kno that i want to get closer to him. i really wanna be someone special to him. but i wonder if i have the ability to do it. i wonder if he would let me get closer. i wonder right now if one day i would love him and maybe he would love me too. although its kinda impossible now but hay who knos. lol but maybe one day i would start walking backward n leave instead but that would be a day i kno how he truely feels for me. lately a lot of shit been coming at me. i actually told how i was feeling to people that had known me for so long but yet i dont tell them. i guess to the situation i just wish they would understand how i feel. i just wanna tell
VANESSA YEE. thank you. DJ.I LOVE YOU A LONG TIME.
writing this blog keep making me cry. sucks. lol i've been crying a lot lately. from the day DJMIKE LEFT til today i am styll crying. what a WEEK!.

GOODBYE GUYS.