WAHAHHAA

xix mofo xix (4:55:46 PM): you should learn how

xix mofo xix (4:55:50 PM): and cook me some =]]]

ohyesannyes (4:56:32 PM): hahah no its okay

xix mofo xix (4:56:41 PM): no its not okay

xix mofo xix (4:56:42 PM): shit

ohyesannyes (4:56:48 PM): LOL

ohyesannyes (4:56:55 PM): why would i wanna make u anything to eat

ohyesannyes (4:56:58 PM): u aint my boyfriend

xix mofo xix (4:57:03 PM): WHAT THE HELL

ohyesannyes (4:57:04 PM): hahaha vanessa said we look cute together

ohyesannyes (4:57:06 PM): we should go out

ohyesannyes (4:57:08 PM): hahahahaha

xix mofo xix (4:57:14 PM): LOOOOOL

xix mofo xix (4:57:21 PM): did she ever see us together

xix mofo xix (4:57:26 PM): wait wtf on like tokbox?

xix mofo xix (4:57:30 PM): or pictures

ohyesannyes (4:57:31 PM): yeah

ohyesannyes (4:57:35 PM): when u were at my house

ohyesannyes (4:57:38 PM): AND pictures

xix mofo xix (4:57:42 PM): oh LOL

xix mofo xix (4:57:59 PM): see, you should start cooking asap

ohyesannyes (4:58:05 PM): HAHAHAHA OHH FUCK U

ohyesannyes (4:58:07 PM): u wish

xix mofo xix (4:58:08 PM): LOOOOOOOOOL

ohyesannyes (4:58:17 PM): just cause we look good together doesnt mean were together

xix mofo xix (4:59:00 PM): yeah i know lol

xix mofo xix (4:59:15 PM): but just coz we're not together doesnt mean you cant cook for me, shit

ohyesannyes (4:59:49 PM): hahahaha i only cook for my family an boyfriends n people i think deserve me to cook for them

ohyesannyes (4:59:53 PM): imma go shower brb

ohyesannyes (4:59:59 PM): give me til 520

xix mofo xix (5:00:01 PM): OH AND I AINT ONE OF THEM

ohyesannyes (5:00:08 PM): i'll be out to argue with u some more

xix mofo xix (5:00:14 PM): lol

xix mofo xix (5:00:24 PM): you better prepare in the shower

xix mofo xix (5:00:25 PM): shit

ohyesannyes (5:10:29 PM): fuck u. u wish i would shower while cooking for ur bitch ass

ohyesannyes (5:10:34 PM): if thats even possible

xix mofo xix (5:10:46 PM): HAHAHAHHAHA

xix mofo xix (5:10:52 PM): I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT LOL

xix mofo xix (5:10:59 PM): i mean you btter prepare to argue

ohyesannyes (5:11:00 PM): whatever u PERV!

xix mofo xix (5:11:04 PM): ROFL

xix mofo xix (5:11:10 PM): -IM- THE PERV

ohyesannyes (5:11:12 PM): i did a 10 min shower. so proud of myself

xix mofo xix (5:11:14 PM): HHHHOKAY =]

xix mofo xix (5:11:21 PM): yeah because you miss me

xix mofo xix (5:11:27 PM): so you rushed out faster

xix mofo xix (5:11:29 PM): LOL jk

ohyesannyes (5:11:32 PM): no cause imma head out with vanessa real quick

ohyesannyes (5:11:34 PM): GOODBYE!

ohyesannyes (5:11:38 PM): FUCKEN PERV

xix mofo xix (5:11:40 PM): where yall going

xix mofo xix (5:11:51 PM): alright ttyl, have fun

xix mofo xix (5:12:09 PM): be safe

GUYS LIKE ALWAYS!

WOW i just realize my life ben hella retarded. remember how i told u about this guy name wilson. i havent talk to him but how hes making the effort to talk to him, i really dont kno wat to do now. =\ save me =[

BEING SO ...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I CANT FUCKEN STAND PEOPLE KEEP TELLING ME THEY AINT ASKING ME OUT BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS AT VANESSA'S HOUSE!!!!!!!!!! JUST BECAUSE I SAID NO FEW TIMES. DOESNT MEAN I DONT WANNA HANG OUT ALL THE TIME!. I'M SO TIRED OF PEOPLE GIVING ME THAT DUMB ASS EXCUSE OF NOT ASKING ME TO GO HANG OUT!

JUST FUCKEN TELL ME YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME OR DONT WANNA HANG OUT IS BETTER EXCUSE THAN SAYING I'M ALWAYS AT VANESSA'S HOUSE. SERIOUSLY. DONT SAY JUST BECAUSE I HAVE VANESSA AND SOPHIA NOW AND I DONT WANNA HANG OUT. ITS NOT EVEN THE FUCKEN REASON. STOP GIVING ME DUMB ASS REASON FOR FORGETTING ME! VANESSA ASK ME IF I WANNA HANG OUT. YOU GUYS DONT. SO TIRED OF THIS SHIT I SWEAR. IF YA CARED MUCH ABOUT HOW I B FEELING THAT START! CAUSE YOU NEVER DID! SERIOUSLY SO TIRED OF HEARING SHIT LIKE THAT. AND FYI YOU GUYS ALWAYS ASK ME THE LAST MIN! SO DONT EXPECT ME TO SHOW UP ALL THE TIME. I DO HAVE A FUCKEN LIFE SOMETIMES!

ALWAYS YES I DONT HAVE MUCH MONEY TO HANG OUT. IF THATS ANOTHER REASON U GUYS DONT ASK. AT LEAST ASK AND SEE IF I WANNA STILL GO. CAUSE ASKING IS A WAY OF APPRECIATING PEOPLE'S EXISTENT!

anyways this ALL CAME OUT because of a talk. BE CONSIDERATE OF HOW PEOPLE BE FEELING. CAUSE THEY DO FUCKEN FEEL LEFT OUT! ALSO DONT EXPECT PEOPLE TO DO SHIT FOR YOU IF U DONT DO THE SAME FOR THEM!

...

LIFE SUCKS. lol. i havent talk to wilson lately. hahaa. but i think its a good thing. i could forget about him n move on. i was talking to this one guy. i havent talk to him for a while but yeah. he played the piano for me. HES REALLY GOOD. lol hes really sweet but no i dont like him. hahaha. but i will get to know him. i hope he gets the job at APPLE. GOOD LUCK KEVIN! =D

IF ANY OF U GUYS NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO. MY EARS IS ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU GUYS =D

hrmmm i have this song i really like. its call dream - cant wait to hate you. haha. if u want it just i.m me. =D
i have a lot of new songs that i like. its KRAZY. =D

i didnt do shit today. i sat home pretty much the whole day. maplestory. i made a new character and i'm level 19 almost 20 =D JUST IN ONE DAY. pretty quick. n i was chatting most of the time. =D OHH YEAH I GOT NEW NAIL POLISH AND I LIKE IT A LOT. GREEN AND PURPLE. XD

thoughts.

ohyesannyes (2:22:56 AM): i dont want to control anyone. if that person cant be faithful to me. its no point of being with that person. i dont want to have a relationship that i need to keep a guy on check. i want them to have their freedom. cause i would want my own. trust is the main key to a relationship

i finally realize that I DONT WANT A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP. i dont think i'm ready to call someone my boyfriend. sometimes i really want to commit but i dont think there is a guy that is worth me wanting to commit a serious relationship with. i just have to just wait for the day to come. but as of right now i just want to date just one guy and see where it goes. if it is worth to move on than why not. but if its not, than i'm sorry. i think i always wanted this but because of wilson coming along giving me this special feelings i never gotten from any guys made me felt that i do like him. the attractiong fooled me to think i like him. thinking about it, i dont know much about him to determine if i like him. i'm positive i'm really attracted to him. really attracted to. he could satisfy what i need and want. i believe he has the ability to do that. i really wonder whats the next step with me and wilson. i wonder if he would ever see more than just a friend with me. i wonder if he would ever like me. so many question i cant find the answer. maybe time could tell me. tell me what my heart really want forsure.

i want to leave city. i want to art school and be a famous interior design. i want to design a store/ house/ mall/ everything. =D i really want to one day see myself doing what i do best. i wish i could move back to hong kong n find a job there. maybe i will find my guy in hong kong in the end. =D

as of right now my heart hurts. iono why but it does. i guess i just got to learn not to care. never let little things to hurt myself. cause i want to be happy. i want to smile. i want to be free. i want to have fun again.

--

TODAY IS ......

today is.....

today was alrite overall i guess. i was home until dinner. ERNESTO came to bring me to dinner at san tung and head back to my house. we ended up going to cow cow for dessert and after we headed to safeway to get BEER =D head over to vanessa's house but mommy went krazy n kicked us out. if u want to put it like that. but it was pretty krazy. head home and now i'm tokboxing with AMY AND YONG and another box with MATT. hahaha. VENT talking to daddy yee. =D
I LOVE DADDY YEE. he could help me understand things better. aint lying he could. i guess cause hes more mature. =P DADDY SO CUTE. MAKING MOMMY FOOD. =D ANYWAYS i'm in a good mood for some weird reason. haha. whatever.

he didnt call me the whole day. i guess he have another event going on. imma just let things cool down in between me n him. cause i think his heart just not with me right now. i want him to miss me. i really do. i want him to want me n he get the same feelings i'm feeling. if he doesnt get it. FUCK IT. imma just let go. its really no point of waiting for a guy who doesnt feel the same way. rather let it go early than later. =\ now its time to just think about things.

JORDIN SPARKS - IT TAKES MORE

Tell me what happened this time
Made you come back again
I find out only see you when luck deserts you
If this is your idea of happiness
Then let's be clear
Those words of yours ain't working anymore

Cause I'm always giving
Here waiting while you're living
I need a new beginning
Oh, I'm not the girl I used to be with you

You think maybe that I'm just so easy
You can come in and out my life like you please
But baby no (uh-oh)
Don't you know it takes more
To keep a girl like me
No more waiting for you to change
Don't you know that you bringing flowers
Won't stop the rain baby no, no (uh-oh)
Don't you know it takes more
You're the only one not worth waiting for

I know you're busy so if you gotta go
Then go but don't forget to leave my heart
I stayed around for you but
You're no where to be found now
Once again here you are

Cause I'm always giving
Here waiting while you're living
I need a new beginning
Oh, I'm not the girl I used to be with you

You think maybe that I'm just so easy
You can come in and out my life like you please
Jordin Sparks It Takes More lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/jordin-sparks-it-takes-more-lyrics.html
But baby no (uh-oh)
Don't you know it takes more
To keep a girl like me
No more waiting for you to change
Don't you know that you bringing flowers
Won't stop the rain baby no-no (uh-oh)
Don't you know it takes more
You're the only one not worth waiting for

I've settled for less
When I stayed with you but no more
Cause you aint worth waiting for, ooh, uuuuh

You think maybe that I'm just so easy
You can come in and out my life like you please
But baby no (uh-oh)
Don't you know it takes more
(Don't you know it takes much more)
To keep a girl like me
No more waiting for you to change
(Waiting for you, no, no, no, no)
Don't you know that you bringing flowers
Won't stop the rain baby no-no (uh-oh)
Don't you know it takes more
You're the only one not worth waiting for

(uh-oh) Don't you know it takes more
(uh-oh) Don't you know it takes much more
(uh-oh) Don't you know it takes much more
You're the only one not worth waiting for

You think maybe that I'm just so easy
You can come in and out my life like you please
But baby no
Don't you know it takes much more
No-no, no more waiting for you to change
Don't you know that you bringing flowers
Won't stop the rain, no, oh
Don't you know it takes much more, oh


you say you couldn't handle me but who are u fooling? my life might have a little drama but its fine. i believe its me who cant handle your life. you're one busy guy and i cant stay at home waiting for your call to see if you want to see me. it hurts not getting the call that i want, i cant wait forever. =[ so i decided to let go before i fall too deep for you.

forgot pw.

sorry i havent been up on my blog lately. i couldnt remember whats my email address i use for this and also my pw. lol. now i finally got it back up.

today i went to class and went to vanny;s house with sophia after class. we went to jay;s house and we decided to go to seniors and we saw MATT walking home n he came with us.
after seniores we pretty much went our seperate ways. but i stayed at vanny;s house.
later on jay called n they came over n WII than sunset super to get pork chop. after that we went to my house and back to vanny;s lol. they went home and i just stayed at vanny;s until around 9 ish jay came over and than matty called and me n jay went to his place n help him out of the dessert he was making. like wow. it was good. no doubt about that. it was good tho. after that i went back to vanny n my sister came to pick me up. thats my day.

MY LAPTOP IS STILL BROKEN FYI. on my sister's mac pro.

goodnight guys.

feelings

when i first met you.
you were so cute, funny, adorable, and many more beautiful traits.
but you've change.
i feel like the person i know isnt there anymore.
you might felt that i was trying to live your life.
but i wasnt.
never did.
if i did i wouldve confront you of how i felt for you.
i hide so much feelings, questions, and care i have for you inside me.
you just never realize how much stuff i know about you.
you just never realize hurtful things i heard about you.
you just never realize how much pain you have given me.
you just never realize i was trying to get to know you from the start.
i dont know why i like you so much.
i dont know why i still care about you.
but all i know is its time for me to let you go.
because in your heart i was never there.
you just never realize you were very special to me.
you just never put the heart to see me in your life.
i feel like i'm blaming everything on you.
but is it my problem?
is it my fault youre running away from me?
i really wonder.
i really wonder what i did wrong?
what made you became the person you became?
am i that bad?
am i a bad person?
am i just not good enough?
you made me feel so sad.
cause i dont know what i did wrong.
i dont know why things could end up like this.
i really wonder what i can do to fix it.
but i realize today it cant.
from the mean words you said to me today.
it made me realize i'm just in the same place as her.


you were one special guy to me.
i never expect you to someone you aint.
i never expect to have some kind of special friendship with you.
i was just kidding with you.
if i did want to have some kind of friendship.
i would want our own. our own special friendship.
i feel like we have a lot of misunderstanding.
but you never gave me the chance to clear anything up.
i really wonder why did i like you so much.
i wonder why every words you say to me could make me so happy and sad.
i wonder what i could do to have that again.
i never put you as a life time partner.
i just wanted to have you in a special way for just a moment.
when i'm around you i feel like a different person.
i realize that.
i try to be myself but i couldnt.
if i could stop loving you i would.
if i could stop caring stop wondering i would.
i dont know why i'm so stupid to still care.
what is there to care about? nothin.
i feel like you never understand how i felt.
never did never will.
i like you but you didnt understand.
i never wanted anything from you.
but just be a friend.
friend that i could flirt with.
='[

its time to let go.
its time for me to stop caring, stop wanting, stop trying, stop liking you.
you will never know how much hurt me.
you will never know how much i care about you.
you will never know how i truely feels.
because i try to hide everything from you.
i try to walk away. but yet you keep coming at me.
i try to forget but u keep reminding me.
and now its time to let go.
its time to let go of the good memories.
its time to move on because i dont wanna like you anymore.
i dont want to believe youre one of a kind.
i dont want to believe youre perfect in my eyes.
i really dont want to see you in that way anymore.
its really time to let go.
goodbye.

i havent been on blog for so long. hella shit been happening. i dont even where and how to start. when mike n dj came down. hella shit happen. when i mean hella i mean hella. mike n dj got mad at me. i feel like i'm doing sumthing right but to them i'm doing sumthing wrong. =\ iono hella stupid.
whatever. i dont wanna release my problem here. i'm so lazy to type now. goodbye

GOOD SONG.THIS IS HOW I FEEL. =\

[Intro:]
I feel like somebody's
Taking my heart
Stop throwing it away
I don't want it anymore
I don't wanna feel like this no more

[Verse 1:]
I'm like a bird with no wings to fly
Can't go no where
No matter how I try
Like a pair of eyes
With no tears to cry
Feels like I'm barely alive

[Hook:]
I just wanna rip my heart
Out of my chest
I'm fed up
And put it in a box away
Tie it to a rock
And throw it over the edge
And let it sink to the bottom
Of the Atlantic

[Chorus:]
Like the Titanic
That was lost at sea
Let it sink to the bottom
Of the Atlantic
I wanna lock it up
And throw away the key
Let it sink to the bottom
Of the Atlantic
Let it sink to the bottom
To the bottom
Let it fall to the bottom
To the bottom
Of the Atlantic

[Verse 2:]
It's like I'm bleeding internally
And I can feel sharp pains in my chest
It's like the doctor
Ran out of my medicine
And I can feel in through my flesh

[Hook:]
I just wanna rip my heart
Out of my chest
I'm fed up
And put it in a box away
Tie it to a rock
And throw it over the edge
And let it sink to the bottom
Of the Atlantic

[Chorus:]
Like the Titanic
That was lost at sea
Let it sink to the bottom
Of the Atlantic
I wanna lock it up
And throw away the key
Let it sink to the bottom
Of the Atlantic
Let it sink to the bottom
To the bottom
Let it fall to the bottom
To the bottom
Of the Atlantic

[Bridge:]
Like woo
I'm sinking at the bottom
And it's going down because of you
Gotta let it go
Just didn't know what else I can do
Cross the seven seas
But still I'm lost and so confused
Cause I just can't take it
No need to fake it because it's true

I'm sinking at the bottom
And it's going down because of you
Gotta let it go
Just didn't know what else I can do
I just wanna rip my heart out of my chest
Throw it away

[Chorus:]
Like the Titanic
That was lost at sea
Let it sink to the bottom
Of the Atlantic
I wanna lock it up
And throw away the key
Let it sink to the bottom
Of the Atlantic
Let it sink to the bottom
To the bottom
Let it fall to the bottom
To the bottom
Of the Atlantic

[Bridge:]
Like woo
I'm sinking at the bottom
And it's going down because of you
Gotta let it go
Just didn't know what else I can do
Cross the seven seas
But still I'm lost and so confused
Cause I just can't take it
No need to fake it because it's true

I'm sinking at the bottom
And it's going down because of you

ggggggggggggggg

going to a dinner i dont even wanna go.HOW GREAT. seeing people i dont wanna see. HOW GREAT.

u guys all hanging out without me. =\ YA FUCKED UP. HAHAHAHA. anyways call me if u guys kno wats happening.

STICKS

other;s stick
[23:14] Kevin Tan: yeah
[23:14] ANN KAO: ohh wow
[23:14] GeoDuDe 418: we love sticks
[23:14] ANN KAO: thats hot
[23:14] GeoDuDe 418: don't be jealous
[23:14] ANN KAO: have fun
[23:14] ANN KAO: help each other jack off
[23:14] Kevin Tan: i'm trying to kill george's stick
[23:14] ANN KAO: good good
[23:14] ANN KAO: have fun
[23:14] Kevin Tan: LOL
[23:14] Kevin Tan: haha
[23:14] ANN KAO: u homos
[23:14] Kevin Tan: lol
[23:14] GeoDuDe 418: i hit kevin's stick hard
[23:14] Kevin Tan: it was painful
[23:15] ANN KAO: ohhh wow. super homo
[23:15] GeoDuDe 418: agh forget this stick game
[23:15] Kevin Tan: ahaha
[23:16] Kevin Tan: ok
[23:16] GeoDuDe 418: it takes too long to get it up
[23:16] GeoDuDe 418: and runnig
[23:16] Kevin Tan: kk
[23:16] Kevin Tan: lol
[23:16] Kevin Tan: no homo ann
[23:16] Kevin Tan: haha
[23:16] Kevin Tan: omg
[23:16] ANN KAO: stop typing
[23:16] Kevin Tan: his stick killed my stick
[23:16] Kevin Tan: haha
[23:16] Kevin Tan: ok
[23:16] Kevin Tan: i'll stop playing too
[23:16] Kevin Tan: lol
[23:16] GeoDuDe 418: it's a surprise when it happens too
[23:16] GeoDuDe 418: you're just walking around
[23:16] Kevin Tan: haha
[23:16] Kevin Tan: yea
[23:16] GeoDuDe 418: and all of a sudden your sticks collide
[23:17] Kevin Tan: seriously

in class

hey guys. i'm in class right now. doing nothin. i need to pee but the restroom doesnt work on this floor so i decided to wait. =D anyways i'm wearing contacts right now and it feels kinda weird. LOL took me the whole morning just putiing it on. almost late to class. anyways i think i'm having bad luck. sociology class i have to talk. when i normally dont talk at all. lol but yeah i talk in english too. lol i read the question out loud. yeah. lol. anyways i really need to pee pee. its killing me. lol
i met this guy yesterday. he was pretty kool. and maybe ann would have another lover boy online. LOL just online. dont want nothin more yet. cause i kno i aint ready for anything serious. =D alrite imma end it here n listen in class. goodbye =D

FUCK IT

DUDE I'M STILL FUCKEN SITTING HERE DOING MY ESSAY! N I HAVE TO GET READY IN 2 HOURS. BLAH!

UNCLE SENT ME THIS. PLEASE READ.

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE


(1)Fine:This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut up.
(2)Five Minutes:If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five
minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3)Nothing:This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you
should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in
fine.
(4)Go Ahead:This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5)Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6)That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7)Thanks:A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say
you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she
says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at
all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8)Whatever:Is a woman's way of sayingF--YOU!
(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:Another dangerous statement, meaning this
is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now
doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?'
For the woman's response refer to # 3.



* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid
if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they
know it's true!

DOT DOT DOT.

SOMETIMES WE JUST WANNNA PROTECT OUR FRIENDS BUT YET U GET URSELF IN A FUCKED UP SITUATION. BUT U KNO WHAT, IN THIS WORLD WE SHOULDNT CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE BUT URSELF.- ANN KAO

TRUTH HURTS BUT WE JUST GOTTA LEARN FROM IT. LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS BECAUSE WE COULD SEE THINGS YOU DONT SEE ABOUT YOURSELF -- ANN&ANDREW

LISTEN TO YOUR HEART IF YOU BELIEVE YOU LOVE HIM/HER. ASK YOURSELF IF YOU WANNA BE WITH THEM. IF YOU JUST WANNA PLAY AROUND, LET IT GO. BUT IF U WANNA BE SERIOUS. TELL THEM. CAUSE THEY WOULD NEVER KNOW HOW YOU TRULY FEELS IF YOU DONT EVER START SPEAKING FROM YOUR HEART. -- ANN KAO

No one is better than anyone else in this world. Don't think that you are smarter than everyone else. We all go through our life very differently. If you have problems, come to us. No point in holding inside until you can't take it anymore. Just share everything because thats how we can care for everyone.-- ANDREW CHIENG

I MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST OF A FRIEND BUT I WOULD TRY TO. I MIGHT MAKE BIG MISTAKES BUT I WOULD TRY NOT TO AGAIN. BUT SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE WHY WE WOULD EVEN MAKE IT. THERE IS ALWAYS A STORY BEHIND THE REASON WHY. WE JUST GOTTA SEE IT IN A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW-- ANN KAO


i really wish things could go back the same. but u kno what it wouldnt. NEVER EVER. cause in my heart u would no longer be someone i trust. and iono about in the future but as of right now u aint someone imma run to. sorry for this but i really cant seem to let myself to forgive and forget. maybe i will later on the week but at this moment i cant. i cant seem to understand anyone anymore. i feel liek my closest friend had pick a guy over me. i feel like it has no longer in my life. i feel like the only reason i could keep it together is going home together. but i dont want just that. =\ yeah i might not go out cause i hate the cold but i feel like beside that we dont talk ever. we dont run to each other when we have problems. i feel like when i go to u. its all negative attitude. all the time now. =\

WHAT CAN I DO?

i havent update whats happening for a while now. cause there wasnt much happening thats why. didnt do shit but sumthing funny happen yesterday. i was talking to THE GUY's GIRLFRIEND. i didnt even kno he got a fucken girlfriend. but its okay. i knew my feelings for him was going away but after yesterday i realize that it was gone. cause i was actually laughing at the situation n actually be able to talk to her like a friend. i didnt kno whats ur intention of telling me so much about herself but i had nothin to lie to her about. me n him is just friends n will always be good friends. although i kno he has been lying to me but its okay. maybe there is why he lying to me. who knos. anyways i dont kno if i should confront him or when to confront him. =\ so weird. anyways i shouldnt even b trippin cause u kno why not like he ever gonna go home. n in his heart i'm just a nobody. lol if he wanna be with her. i think he should. its the better for their family. anyways imma stop here. =D

what a day. XD

imma make this short as possible cause i dont feel like typing but yet i wanna tell everyone. i've been doing good lately i guess, yet as well bad i guess too. iono some stuff make me sad n some stuff makes me happy so iono how it ish n shit like that. anyways today i went to school form 9am - 8pm. KRAZY HUH I KNO. saw kevin on my 2 hr break. i was tokboxing at school with vanessa and dj n SIMON. cant forget him. =] anyways after that went to class n went home. i told dj last time that i would look for all my shoes n i found most of them. but not ALL! kinda upset. iono what happen to it. but yeah i found 45 pairs of shoes. n here is the picture. isnt it krazy. of course its include crocs. lOL i have a lot. but about 20 pairs. anyways yeah thats pretty much it. right now tokboxing n i willl talk about how i'm feeling lately later on. cause i just wanna show off my shoes. =D

BROKEN

i'm surprised this is where i really put my feelings to. where i write what have been bugging me. anyways i heard sumthing i didnt really want to believe but i kno its true. in my heart i'm really broken. iono how to accept it and i really dont kno what i could make me feel better. =[ iono when i could stop feeling this way. i just want to kno the truth from that person but at a same time iono how i would take it. even if i hear it from that person. i might even be more heart broken cause they could always lie to me. =\ i really dont kno what i could do anyways. please save me god. i really dont know how i really feel. i really dont kno what to do. although the problem aint my problem but in my heart i feel like it is. just knowing someone i care so much about is like that. maybe there is a story behind. maybe im just taking it too much. even tho i was crying so much and start joking around. its because i dont want them to worry anymore. i dont wanna keep crying and make them feel bad for telling me but u kno what. imma be stronger. i will try to be stronger. with this problem it made me realize how cruel i am. how fucked up i am. how dirty i am. i really regret what i have done. but what can i do. nothin. cause its gone now. at this moment i just need to accept what i have done wrong and just dont do it again. and if i am doing it again. i am ready. i just wish that one day i could really forgive myself but yeah right. i wont ever ever forgive myself but i wish i could. *sigh* right now i just hope and wish that person could let me care about them. let me in and let me be someone they could run too. *sigh* i just wish. really wish. you kno guys. my previous blog about the guy i like but i aint sure i like him. i feel like i aint sure if i do or not but i kno that i want to get closer to him. i really wanna be someone special to him. but i wonder if i have the ability to do it. i wonder if he would let me get closer. i wonder right now if one day i would love him and maybe he would love me too. although its kinda impossible now but hay who knos. lol but maybe one day i would start walking backward n leave instead but that would be a day i kno how he truely feels for me. lately a lot of shit been coming at me. i actually told how i was feeling to people that had known me for so long but yet i dont tell them. i guess to the situation i just wish they would understand how i feel. i just wanna tell
VANESSA YEE. thank you. DJ.I LOVE YOU A LONG TIME.
writing this blog keep making me cry. sucks. lol i've been crying a lot lately. from the day DJMIKE LEFT til today i am styll crying. what a WEEK!.

GOODBYE GUYS.

MY WONDERFUL WEEKEND.

lets start off saturday. i went to serramonte with andrew and went shopping. he came to pick me up around 11:30AM. and we finished around 12:30 PM. but u kno wat i felt like it was like 2-3 hours shopping but it was only 1 HR! it was KRAZY. i guess its because MIKE&DJ IS COMING DOWN!!!!! so i got super excited that my day went super slow. but andrew drop me off home and i went to watch series and talk to DJ on the phone asking whats up n entertain him a little. XD anyways time flew by n its around 7 ish. i decided to go to VANESSA's house to wait for DJ&MIKE to get here. around 9ish they were in san francisco. (THEY WERE LOST) anyways but yeah we tried to find some motels and shit so they could sleep at n shit. and we did at judah. danng so far. but yet so close. lol. anyways yeah we unpack n shit chilled in front of vanny;s house. we chilled there to find out wat to eat n we ended up at denny;s. we ate we talk and MIKE WAS SITTING NEXT TO ME. he makes me really nervous. i swear cause he is my husband u kno. lol but yeah he was so fucken funny. hes trying to kill me with his jokes i swear. anyways after denny;s we head back to vanny's house and we sat in front of it for a while n mike was tired so he want to go back n sleep. dj went bowling with the guys. and i decided to go home cause i kno they aint gonna go home early enough for me not to get in trouble. LOL so i decided to go home too. but at a same time i wish i got in trouble n spent time with DJ. but at a same time i didnt kno any1 there really. LOL alrite so thats the saturday. =D

so sunday. i woke up around 7:30AM. i'm good huh. ii kno. =D anyways i woke up n called vanny but she was sleeping. SLEEPYHEAD! i swear. lol but i end up getting ready to do my wake up pop uup to dj and mike. lol so i went to get ready right. i didnt finish til like around 8:30 is so they could keep sleeping in. anyways i walk all the way to their motel which is judah n 47th. lol. good hiuh i kno n i got there around 9:30. which i walked really slow so they could sleep in a little. by the time i got there VANNY CALLED n she said she just woke up n shes gonna get ready to shower. and i told her to call dj to open the door. n mike end up opening the door. he was scratching his BALLS. thats the first thing i noticed. LOL. anyways they were sleeping n i walked in n said time to WAKE UP! but u kno they aint gonna wake up and i end up joining them sleeping. lol. i was on mike;s bed. OMGOSH I WAS SLEEPING WITH MY HUSBAND! lol but i end up poppin beds talking to DJ n MIKE. lol anyways yeah it was pretty funny. =D anyways we left the motel and went to vanny;s house and vanny drove. WOW. lol. we went to eat pho at irving. and it was DJ & MIKE first time eating PHO! LOL it was pretty funny. we ate with VINCE, MIKE,ED,SIMON DJ,MIKE,VAN, obviously i was there too. LOL but yeah we ate pho than we went to DAY INN where they checked in. =D DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH. walked a little and after that we fucken went to pick some people up and went to japantown. lol KRAZY. we took stickypic. HEHE. KRAZY! lol but yeah it was pretty kool. SERIOUSLY. only me van dj n mike took it. its okay tho. i like it. it was fun. =D but yeah. after japantown drop simon home. I KNO WHERE HE LIVES NOW!!! lol anyways but yeah drop him off n went to ED's HOUSE. we dat there the whole fucken night. wasnt bad. everyone really friendly. =D and yeah they were playing games. we order pizza. ate pizza and i start crying cause i was starting to realize DJ N MIKE IS GONNA LEAVE!!! i'm so fucken sad. i keep crying n stop when i look at mike. thanlook at DJ again n i start crying. than mike i stop. it was pretty funny that it keep happening. n i finally stop cause i wasnt thinking about it until we about to leave. i was crying my ass off. n when we finally saying goodbye. i was crying like i havent cried for so long. i was so sad. seriously really sad. i really dont wish they leave. i wish i could stay with them longer. i dont even give a shit i have school 2m. so i could last just another min. and another min. i just wish to be with them until they have to leave but i cant. i really miss them. right now i aint crying anymore but i was telling george amy eric yong about dj n mike. i couldnt stop crying. i wish i could see them right now. iono how i feel that way but i feel like i have such a strong connection with them.. they were like my other half of my heart. seriously. i think my life been so happy ever sincei met them. really. i just wish i could see them forreal. cause i miss them so much. like SO MUCH. =[ (DJ IF UR READING THIS I KNO UR AT SAN DEIGO ALREADY!! =[ I MISS U SO MUCH. I REALLY DO MISS U! I REALLY DO. AND MIKE I WISH WE HAD TIME TOGETHER ALONE. U KNO I REALLY WANT THAT. BUT ITS OKAY. I THINK I HAD A LOT THAN I ACTUALLY EXPECTED. BUT THANK YOU. YOU GUYS REALLY MADE MY WEEKEND SO FUN AND HAPPY AND SO EXCITED. THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU A LONG TIME<3>

<3

HI GUYS. how u guys doing? i've been pretty emo lately cause there is this one guy. iono if i should say who it ish but i'm pretty sure a lot of people know who it ish. anyways hes a very very very kool guy. hes funny and really adorable. i wish i could actually get to kno him even better. but i feel like if i keep talking to him it would end up in a wrong place n i dont think i'm ready for that. iono how he feels for me cause i feel like what i felt before is not the same right now. i guess he just think i aint the right gurl i guess. anyways but lately i felt like without him my life feel so incomplete. like there in a bug inside of me running around every where n it feels so uncomfortable if u guys kno wat i mean. but yesterday i was in pain feeling like hes leaving me. but now today i'm fine. i kinda talk to him n its like wahatever i guess i'm feeling better n learn to let go. but i still do care about him a lot. cause hes such a good guy.

I CANT WAIT TIL I SEE DJ N MIKE! YEAHH SUNDAY!!!

CLICK TO IMPROVE THE CITY.
http://vanessa-yee.myminicity.com

thank you.

ANYWAYS IT ISH 5 almost 6am. i finish taking my shower n i'm tired ass fuck cause i only go like 2 hrs of sleep i think imma ko til like 7 when nora gets here. LOL anyways, SCHOOL HAD BEEN HELL NOW. hw is getting at me now. so tired. the only thing i cant wait right now is to see dj n mike this weekend. LOL i cant wait. =D shit, XD anyways imma go to sleep a little n get up n go to school =D

my feelings.

NO HE AINT THE GUY BUT ISNT HE SO CUTE! LOL





lately i've been really emo. iono why i'm like this but i just dont kno how to control it. i really dont kno how. when i start to have a thing for someone i feel like i shouldnt be liking them and its wrong to like them and i pull myself away from them. i would act hella shady to them but at a same time i try not too cause i'm being really selfish fucking up a frennship just because of some little feelings. right? but yeah i really dont know whats wrong with me. =\ feel so stupid sometimes. i actually dont even know why i feel this way. i dont even know what kind of feeling this ish. i just kno that that guy became someone special to me. just telling u guys its not deep shit or anything. really its not. but he would be someone i care about and i hope to stay the way we are right now cause its so fun and i'm happy. =] i do miss him tho. but i wouldnt go to him like that to the point he knos i miss him. even tho i say i miss him i kno i would say it as a joke but really its not. lol i guess this is how i let them think i dont feel that way for them. so it wont be all weird and shit. lol. i think hes such a sweet heart but a player. O.o haha. but iono why i dig them even more. weird huh? getting myself into sum bullshit relationship problems. lol. anyways in my heart right now i feel super confuse. i guess u could say he aint the only guy i'm kinda interested i guess. but the other guys has nothin to compare to him. other guy are people i talk to a lot but at a same time i get upset when i hear them telling me who they like but at a same time i dont give a shit. i guess i;m just an attention whore. i jsut want their attention. LOL but hay who knos. i dont even know how i even feel right now. =\ i'm saying so much but thats how i feel u kno but at a same time i kinda feel like thats not how i feel n i get so confuse. do i like anyone? i feel like i do but is it just that i'm so happy i'm just taking it the wrong way? i really dont know. i'm so clueless right now. seriously. i really dont kno. *sigh* i've been talking to people like amy and nora. nora said focus in school. i am. i'm trying to do good in class right now but at a same time my heart would wonder around u kno. n amy knos what i'm talking about like how i feel i guess but yeah i dont even kno. i really really really dont kno whats going on. so clueless and confuse. seriously. but i will try to get my feelings straight soon i hope.

alrite today what did i do? i woke up around 1 ish. went on tokbox to see whos on. saw amy and eric. talk a little they left. watch some chinese drama. n later on. i went back on tokbox but they didnt even tell me they were on tobox. got kinda upset. but whatever. its all good. than back to my series n took a shower n tokbox until i leave for family dinner. after family dinner i went back home and tokbox some more. text amy what they gonna do n she just told me andrew gonna come pick me up without ASKING ME IF I WANNA GO OR NOT. but yeah i didnt kno if i should go or not when its around 11 sumthing already. n they dont even know when andrew was going to pick me up. so until andrew called me i was deciding if i should go. cause i'm mad broke. from dinner from yesterday. anyways yeah. later on andrew called me if i wanna go bowling. n its about money obviously i'm gonna say no. so i didnt go. n stayed home n tokbox. lol. but i was so fucken bored at home. i wish i went out that didnt have to do with money. moneyless is good. lol anyways its okay tho. at least i didnt spend any money. =D but yeah thats pretty much it. i'm still in tokbox. lol like always. =D but yeah today is DJ's birthday.

TO DJ.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY U FUCKEN BITCH ASS MOTHER FUCKER.
you kno i love you very much. you've been a really good frenn. ever since i met u. thank you very much. i get to share my deepest secret and also not. lol n i love you so much for that. thank you thank you. ur another year older and u get to buy alcho now. i'm so happy. when u come down here were gonna get FUCKED UP! i swear. lol were gonna get FUCKED UP!. lol i cant wait. i hope u will soon. =D anyways like i said earlier HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND I LOVE YOU.

SLEEPORED

today i didnt do SHIT. i went to school around 8:30AM. so i woke up around 7-730 ish. and i only slept like fucken 4 hrs. KRAZY. i was so tired. sociology was alrite i wasnt falling asleep. NOT ENGLISH EITHER! BUT ONCE I STEP MY FEET IN PSYCHOLOGY. i totally knocked out couple of time. FINALLY class was over i was so happy cause i have 2 hr break. went to lac lab to print stuff out than later on i went to the library to fucken sleep. hahaha. but people keep i.m me so i keep waking up. FINALLY i woke up n chat on my iphone. i saw kevin online n i decided to i.m him cause i thought he went to fucken AOS. acedemy of science. =D anyways yeah. but he didnt go but he was in the library. same floor too! haha but different part. lol. but yeah talk to him a little n went to bio class. DAMN. i was hella happy to go cause i get to see my twins. lol i didnt kO. lol. cause i was entertain the whole time. so its all good. after school amy drove me home and my brother;s frennz are all over watching movies connecting my lappy to the tv. so i didnt have my lappy so i decided to take a nappy. cause i was so tired. i slept til like FUCK 10 something. fucken krazy. lol. about 4 hours. =D anyways yeah it was pretty krazy. i dont think i could sleep tonight but its all good cause i dont have school 2m n friday i only have class til 12. =D yeah... =D i'm web camming with fucken eric kevin and amy. how lame huh. i kno. lol JK. but yeah i wonder what imma do 2m. =D netflix the whole day? YEAHHHH! lol. alrite gotta get ready to sleep some more soon. =D

HAPPY(BELATED) BIRTHDAY AMY

HAPPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!!!

HAHAH HOPE YOU'LL LIKE IT =D anywho. just came back from bowling. i didnt even bowl. but i was really tired already from all the human hula hoops. =D it was so fun!! seriously. anyways i keep hearing this beeping noise. n its driving me krazy cause iono where it came from. i thought it was my fucken laptop. n i have my headset on too. so when i took my headset on i cant hear it. n when i put it back on. it comes back. but i look at my volume thing and my speaker is off. so wtf. u kno. but iono. i'll see what happens. going back to what happened today or yesterday. lol.chilled at kevin;s house. n than bowling. thats it. sound boring huh but not really. it was pretty fun playing online games. DDR. lol pretty fun. seriously. cause when i'm there. its super fun =D hahaha.

anyways........

THIS IS FOR AMY ONLY!!!!!!!

happy birthday amy. i hope you had fun today or yesterday or whatever. =D i wish we couldve did more for u =D. anyways i hope everything goes right from todays on. forget what just had happen. like 30 min ago n move on. =D thankz for being such a great frenn to me. although sometimes u could be such a bitch, i styll love you very much. seriously i mean it. my lesbian girlfrenn. i hope sooner or later you will find a guy that would actually cherish you like how i cherish you =D i hope that when that days come. i would be the first of the first of the first to know =D hehe. so i hope n wish n want for you to be happy. also when i turn 21 we're gonna go to LV with xiao n george. =D i dont wanna wait for them. they take too damn long. LOL maybe when andrew too. during summer. they gonna sit in the hotel n we go back n hitting those damn bars. LOL (if u guys are reading this. than better stop reading u bitch ass!!!) amy i just want to tell you that when time fly by. were gonna be 34 35 36. i hope we will get marry and have kids. =D hahaha n when that day comes. i hope we will stylll be friends. =D pretty sure we will. lol. anyways i just wanna tell u when i marry eric. i want u to be right there for us. ( hahaha u wish ERIC) anyways hahahaha. but really when i get marry. u will be right next to me. =D cause i'll be to scared to get marry without u. =D alrite i'm dont talking about sum stupid shit that aint gonna come true in another 5-7 years. =D imma get marry soon guys!!! XD alrite bye amy =D